Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize