i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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