If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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