so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
