I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
