So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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