I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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