somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
