Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
