i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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