What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
