I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
