So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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