Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
