A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize