He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize