I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
