After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
