I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
