We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
