There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm at about main and main street
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
