I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
only you would photoshop your dick
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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