You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
