Kiss
Puke
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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