im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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