# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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