Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Randomize
