Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
