It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
