She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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