how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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