Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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