found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
