No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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