Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize