Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
