I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You pole danced in your parka.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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