My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
