well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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