I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
