I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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