I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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