You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
