If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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