the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
