after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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