i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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