census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
