I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize