So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
