if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
