dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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