i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
