Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize