dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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