A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
