apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
