no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
