hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dear god my vagina.
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