so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
