she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
