i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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