Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize