i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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