He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
